Atomica
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2005 California Driver's Licence Application
2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Since driving conditions (and culture) are uniquein California, you may not have realized that the California Department of
Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and driver's test solelyfor the California area.
2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ___________________ Stage Name:__________________
Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________
Therapist's Name: _________________
Sex:
[ ] Male [ ] Female*
[ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor
vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Please list brand of cell phone(s): ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________ ________________________ _______ (Use extra pages, if
necessary)
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________
Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading
Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your
911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week: ________
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself
of a hefty lawsuit profit.
When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.
Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn
Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge
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13/7/2005, 4:26
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chibi5OO
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
GOOD ONE, ATOMICA!!
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7/8/2005, 18:15
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Atomica
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
Thank you Chibi!!!
I aim to please...I am SOOOO glad I do NOT have to live out there anymore!
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7/8/2005, 19:09
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chibi5OO
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
Well, I think that test is more applicable in SoCal than NorCal...
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8/8/2005, 1:29
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Atomica
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
So what changes would we have to make in that form for Nth Cali?
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17/8/2005, 4:09
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kago
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
Southern and Northern Californians are as different as night and day! As such, the whole form has to be changed for us in Northern California.
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9/12/2005, 5:25
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Atomica
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
Well, I AM open to suggestions!!!
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9/12/2005, 5:58
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kago
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
You're too nice, Atomica, so I wouldn't make you work that hard.
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12/12/2005, 2:10
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Atomica
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Re: 2005 California Driver's Licence Application
LOL!!!! Try me. I have taken on a massive workload online in the past few years...and it's all cool...
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13/12/2005, 6:52
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